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Depression happens because of the lack of connection. I read that in several books including The Suicidal Mind and The Depression Cure. Humans are social creatures while ironically a symptom of depression is withdrawing from people. However, being around friends and family helps to lift the depression.I am glad that my friends are always willing to hang out in person because as we are all connected through texting, social media, and all other forms of instant messaging...it seems cold. There is no hearing a voice, feeling a presence or seeing a smile. No, emoticons don't count! Sometimes a phone call is all it takes. So, what happens when someone that you have a connection with disappears?
That is the question that I've been struggling with for weeks. That question has caused my depression self assessment rise to moderate after it finally dropped down into the mild zone. I don't connect to people easily and when I do, it's so detrimental to lose that person. I lost him. I'm finally getting to the point where I'm better and he left. It may have been due to fear or poor communication or a thousand other reasons. Yes, I miss him because he took the time to understand me in a way that I felt.
I am trying to connect back to myself and my friends again. I don't think any of this beauty that I am creating or participating in would have been possible without losing that connection. Right now, I might not be well enough to try to get him to look at me again and he might not be either. Others may not think that trying to establish the relationship again is worth it, but it is my choice and my life. Maybe I'm a masochist or maybe I'm just stubborn. I'm not quite sure.
I believe in miracles and friendships that never die. It might be due to the fact that I am extremely loyal. One day I will win. I will establish deep connections. I will be me. Join me in the fight for connection!
So, read this and then get off the electronic device of your choice and spend time with someone. Pick up the phone, write a letter or walk outside. Connect in a real way.
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