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As I am working on part of my wellness plan to read 3-4 books a month, I am reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It feels like I am on a less fabulous journey that she was on, but it's the people you meet along the way that make it important. The reason why I'm mentioning it is because one of the people Elizabeth meets tells her about soul mates, which I will share with you now.People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person that can bring you to your own attention so that you can change your life. A true soul mate is the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.
This quote caught my attention because I never believed that a soul mate was a perfect match because perfect does not exist. If people were perfect then they would never fight and come to live in peace. That doesn't happen. I also think that people have many soul mates because we are social creatures.
I think he was a soul mate of mine. He is unmedicated bipolar and sometimes being with him was terrifying because he never realized his episodes. He thought that he was in control of it and that might be a delusion. He changed me by softening me and learning to forgive, which is how I got Geof back partially. Him withdrawing forced me to get better because I thought that maybe I could get him back. Maybe he only liked the sick me, but I'm not sure. I am putting my life back together because he changed me and showed me that I could do anything. I think that I will probably miss him forever and hope that one day we might be friends again because circumstances always change. Being his friend forever would be painful. It was painful for the short time that it was there. It had some great moments with some very bad moments. I will always consider him a friend.
I wish that he hadn't cut me out so that I could thank him. I will publicly thank him here. Thank you for making me believe in myself and making me get better. You are my friend even if you never speak to me again.
That is how soul mates work. They make us better and force us to change. They then leave, which is painful in and of itself. Never give up hope though that things can be repaired. Sometimes they cannot, but I live in hope. Always.
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