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Depression and anxiety are fueled by low self esteem. Then it becomes a vicious cycle as poor self esteem is then caused by depression and we cannot escape it. Maybe it's all in our heads or our blood streams or in our perceived deficits with others. This week I have been having esteem issues related to my body.I know that my month long campaign is supposed to build self esteem and confidence, but I got punched with a bout of acne, which makes me feel ugly. I then start nit picking my body. I have an hour glass figure, which I like, but it makes clothes difficult to find. I mean the only part of my body that I actually like are my boobs. The rest of my body not so much.
I did this campaign to regain some confidence in my personal appearance. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think I'm stunning because of my large eyes, but other times, I only see a misplaced hair or a scar. I don't then see the rest of the things that make me attractive.
One of my illnesses, Hashimotos Thyroiditis has a hand in everything that I suffer from. I'm more prone to depression and weight gain, which makes self esteem difficult. It also makes my hair fall out and causes me to have more body hair than I want to admit. It makes my nails brittle and my skin messy.
I want to feel good about myself again. I want others to feel good about themselves. I know from living abroad that Americans are more ashamed of their bodies than any other nation. We're told to hide out curves, but I like mine. I want to learn to appreciate my body.
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