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I have come to realize that a girl that has never had a boyfriend has a schoolgirl innocence. I will provide a lengthy definition of this term, which I hope to have coined, in this blog entry. I would like to start off by stating that I still have the schoolgirl innocence, even at this age, since I have never been in a relationship in my life. So that is why I decided to dedicate a blog entry to this topic.
Schoolgirl innocence involves approaching the world with the wide-eyed curiosity of a child. A girl is often idealistic and thinks about love and relationships through a romantic, idealistic, point of view, perceiving it like a fairy tale. The girl often is prone to blushing and gushing. She thinks of love and marriage as a "happily ever after." She usually wishes to remain a virgin until marriage although she may find that once she has a relationship, it is not practical. One of my relatives has told me a lot about what she and her friends visualized as schoolgirls in conservative India. One concrete example is that when you have a zit in the middle of the bridge of your nose, you will be in love.
A romantic relationship really grows you up. You learn the difference between real and fairy tale love. You learn to compromise and be independent. I have found that constant fighting and tears are common experiences among couples. In the soap opera, One Life to Live, Marcie said that before she fell in love, she thought of love as swooning, but that it was really about having a best friend that you wait for to tell everything. Someone told me that a virgin is noticeably different from a woman that has had sex as sex is a big change in one's life, that I am still noticeably innocent. Another person told me that a certain maturity comes about you after having sex. When I was in high school, my closest friend, like me, did not date, We then had very similar ideals about life and about love. She, like me, was prone to blushing and giggling and idealizing love and marriage. However, in college, she started to have serious relationships while I remained cut off from the dating zone. Now she is completely different than in high school. I do not know exactly what her experiences with love are, but she is no longer innocent and idealistic and more practical and condones pre-marital sex, unlike before. In college, the best friend that I made had already been in several serious long-term relationships and so did not have that schoolgirl innocence when I met her. I had another close friend in college that like me, did not date. So she and I had very similar personalities and really clicked. However, I found that after college when she started dating, she changed a lot and was no longer wide-eyed and quite independent. At this age, I am the only person that I know that is left with this schoolgirl innocence, being unique in never having a relationship. I have, however, tried to learn from what I have observed from other people's experiences.
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