S
Have you ever seen someone whose smile stopped you in your tracks and completely disarmed you? Have you ever known that that smile was meant for you? I received that smile once and I miss seeing it. It's just a memory now.A smile that beautiful was part of my pile of good things. That was something that was so important for me and I miss meaning something to someone. I know that my friends and my family care about me and I value that, however that smile awoke something in me. I've just been remembering him a lot.
I am going on a wondrous vacation this week with my best friend, which I'm looking forward to because I'm carrying on. But there are times when I wish I could tell him just how much better I'm doing. I want to tell him that I still care for him. I did so much for him when he asked, but when I needed everyone's support, he left. That still stings, which brings up my anger.
I can understand why people leave, but I'm a giver. It is my nature either as a person or as an empathic to help people. I want to make people feel better because no one deserves the pain that I went through. It's just disappointing when I did not receive the same in return. He's not the only one that left or became distant, but I feel his loss a bit more keenly than the others. I just have to remember that not everyone is like me. Not everyone is brave. Not everyone can stare through the face of pain. Not everyone can give back.
I miss all these people and it hurts, but I carry on the best I can. That is why I take classes as well as write this blog. I hope that one day I will see that smile again from somebody. I hope we all find that smile.
S
