S
I get hit by waves of sadness sometimes. It's usually after I have a great day and then it's back to normal life. Is my normal mode sad? Maybe I'm not cut out for a normal life. My mother is trying to push me to use jdate, but I can't cope with myself. I don't want a boyfriend. I want a deep affectionate friendship. I only ever wanted a friend.When I'm good, I am this amazing, vibrant, sarcastic person. I am a very loyal friend even though I feel like almost no one is as loyal to me aside from 3 friends. I am trying to fix the pain because by helping others, I help myself. I still miss my friend. I would talk to him all the time. He was like the Doctor in a way. He was mad, unpredictable and funny. I adored him. I am getting used to life without him, but it was like it was before: lonely.
I changed and have come back to being confident and semi-healthy. Part of me wishes that he could see it, but I know that without him none of it would have happened. If there wasn't the incident I would have the depression in the background forever.
Now for a picture. This is me just having a good time.
S
