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Loneliness stings more than words can tell. I always feel like I don't belong anywhere or with anyone. My sense of belonging was shattered. The pain of loneliness isn't like a bee sting, it's more like a lashing that throbs for a very long time.My therapist says that I want a relationship. I want a companion not a romantic one, I just want someone that I can tell everything to and feel a connection with. I thought that I had someone that could be my companion, but I believe that fear in some way got the best of him.
I'm doing the best that I can alone. I have some terrific friends, but nothing as distracting or as satisfying as a companion. I cried in my car today because the loneliness hurt so much. It's all a memory and it's all I have to hold onto for the moment.
I joined meetup.com to have something to do and maybe meet some interesting people. Due to scheduling conflicts and my natural shyness, I haven't gone to any yet, but I want to. I joined 4 groups, one is for writing, one is spritualtea and another is for women having fun. I hope that it will help staunch the wounds that loneliness has inflicted upon me.
Maybe I just want to feel that someone cares again.
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