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I have been having a couple of episodes this past week. I believe that they are brought on by stress because I am starting to do the training at my bank, which is something that I love, but it's a work in progress. I want people to feel good about little victories so we can build up to the big victories. I don't think everyone is as excited about these things as I am.As I was talking to a friend during one of my lonely moments, he said that I should call his girlfriend's psychiatrist because the medication she is taking is really helping her. The thing is that I am taking medication, Pristiq and Deplin. They do help, but what medication really does is stabilize. It makes the unending sadness bearable. It gives you the range of emotions that normal people have. Medication does not heal a broken heart.
Medicine is another tool in the arsenal to fight this illness. For me, depression is chronic as it coincides with my Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Once mental illness touches you, it's always there, but it can be managed like any other illness. I believe that Americans especially think that once you take a pill, everything will be magically cured. It's not like that, unfortunately.
I was going to write something different today. I was going to write about the dichotomy of one word, but I'll save that for another time. Right now, I'm striving to get better with a chronic, unpredictable illness. My bad days while less frequent are tougher than most can imagine.
I use the word strive because that's what he said we do. We are fighting a battle that most can never comprehend unless they have been through it. He is bipolar, you see and though he is what he is, I cared about him immensely. He chose not to take medication, which is his choice. I had no choice with mine because I wasn't getting better.
Medication is just another tool to help everyone. It can be useful, but it won't make a person happy. Medication is an aid to make us functional that is all it is. We must do the rest to heal ourselves. We strive to be better.
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