S
Everyone has one thing that they are extremely talented at. I can sing, I write, I am not afraid to be myself and I'm intelligent. However, my true talent is survival. I survived so much crap, especially from the past year.There were times last year that I wanted to give up, but there was that tiny thing that told me not to. I mean despite the fact that my depression was debilitating, I still showed up to work and did the best I could. I know that I couldn't smile for almost 2 weeks. That is not an exaggeration.
Now surviving a chronic illness does not mean that I am magically cured or that I don't have bad days because I do. Sometimes the bad days are spectacular and I end up cutting because I couldn't ride out the wave. I then get to sleep and start over again the next day.
I still struggle with my weight and my diet. I am currently craving broiled salmon, but I cannot afford it. I do have some beef and pork chops stored in my freezer, but it is so much easier to eat crap than it is to cook healthy. However, I feel better when I eat well. Maybe I might have to eat salads again. Part of being a survivor is being healthy.
I know that it takes a great amount of effort to survive. I have somehow turned it into an art form. When the bank denied my unemployment, it would have been easier to fall apart and hide in the depression, but I made the decision to fight the injustice. I won the unemployment appeal by producing facts and documentation whereas the bank only had hearsay in their possession.
I don't know how this talent will get me anywhere aside from the fact that I know that I can make it through intense bullying and trauma. I'm stronger that I thought I was and it was something that an old friend of mine knew the entire time.
S
