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I have been rushing to get things done since my parents are moving in 6 days. I had to finish an Economics course that the bank "allowed" me to finish. I think he told executive management that I wouldn't be paying them back. I don't know for sure, but since he is the contact, I can only come to the conclusion that it was him. I finished with a B in the course, but really don't have a deeper understanding of Macro Economics. The downside from everything that is going on is that my brain is scattered. It makes me feel dumb. I forget appointments and sending out paperwork. This is the first time in my life that I need a to-do list. It's like my brain is still broken.
I had some tough days in the pharmacy. It was mostly dealing with customers and now I'm waiting to hear if I got my license. I mean it is CT, so basically they just want their money. I can't work on the bench until I get my license. For now I am stuck on pick up. I know that being a tech is a bit more prestigious and is a field that isn't going away. I was thinking that maybe I was too stressed to be in that environment. I was letting my disability win.
I talked to a few of the supervisors at my old store as well as some friends and decided to give it another week. I did a follow up conversation with a supervisor in which he advised that if I still feel awful and unprepared in a few weeks to talk to the manager and see if I can transfer to the front of my old store. I will try it until my training is done.
I might be too hard on myself because I know what I was before. Learning to be a technician is not beyond my abilities, but my mind and confidence is still healing. It might be that way for a long time. I know that my body is changing again as well because I am losing weight as well as my hair. I am taking vitamins to counteract some of these changes.
I do miss how my old brain used to function. Maybe one day I can get back there, but who knows. It's a lot of adjustments in a very short time.
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