S
Ok, so it's not really an addiction, but it's a bad habit. I've changed cutting for shopping. I overspend, but it's the holidays. I have spent way too much money on clothes and junk, which was probably a part of a rebellion. I am getting a mental guilt trip from my mother for spending too much on things that I don't need. My brother has done the same thing by switching from alcohol to cigar smoking. On the other hand, I am getting rid of things. I have a box of things to either donate or do at a tag sale. I'm donating more clothes to good will and still have things of my parents to sort through. I have been getting things that I need. I think shopping helps me be around people, which is something I need at the moment, but I shouldn't be spending money.
I just really want to feel better about myself, but I am having a breakout and am overweight. I know that shopping won't help with my weight or how I feel about myself.
Another good thing is that I will be getting insurance through my job, which means I will be saving money on that. Even crappy insurance costs a lot of money. Even though my paycheck will be a bit less, it would be better than spending $200/month on a high deductible.
Luckily, I have food in reserve, so I won't starve. I still pay my bills, but I need to find a way to get more control. Since I feel distant from people, I'm filling my life up with things. The plus side is that they are things that I will use eventually. The downside is that I am living paycheck to paycheck. I think that once I get someone in the apartment with me, I will be able to get my life in a little bit more of a controlled situation.
I'm just in a blah state right now.
S
