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Today is my 6 months. I haven't cut in 6 months, which is something to be proud of, I suppose. I guess it means that I am stronger, but the emptiness is still there. I don't get as many cravings as I used to, but I still want it when I am very sad or stressed out or angry. Now I do other things instead.I had a rule on my wellness plan to do the 15 minute rule, which means when I have a craving, I do something else for 15 minutes and if I still need to, then I can. Since starting the 15 minute rule, I haven't needed to. I either call someone, or write, or listen to music. Usually calling someone doesn't work as well because it's not him. I call Jamiyl, which helps too because he's the only person that I am comfortable with crying. I don't cry pretty either so if I can, I don't cry in public. The truth is that he's gone.
The cutting doesn't love me, but it gave me what I needed, which was the endorphins. I still have some scars from it that are barely noticeable now. I do things that make me feel pretty like the photo campaign, which I enjoyed doing and I hoped people liked it. I wear perfume and use lotions to minimize the appearance and in time they will disappear.
I want to have some tattoos under the scars to always remind me that I survived. I have a tattoo from Doctor Who, Sherlock and Queen. The three things that I love to combat the destruction. I plan to write about how the Doctor changed my life. I wrote about how Freddie has.
To celebrate 6 months, I am going out to see a movie. I will now post my last picture of my campaign.
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