Undone by Arbitariness

The world rarely makes sense because it seems to be undone at every turn by arbitrariness.  I'm writing this because the three Israeli teens who were kidnapped were found today shot to death.  I know the senselessness of the world more than most, but this breaks my heart because kids should not suffer. Their deaths are horrible and Hamas should not celebrate this.  They only show their cowardice by killing children.

I know that no one is ever completely 100% safe.  Everybody knows that everybody dies, but we all hope it's when we reach a ripe old age.  This, however, is not always the case.  The world we live in is not fair, just or kind as a whole.  There are individuals who have all those qualities, but society does not.  Human nature has not changed and no one is ever safe from harm.  Tragedy touches us all.

My writing alone can refute all the charges that former company has laid against me.  Did I exercise poor judgement?  Yes.  Was I truly violent or dangerous?  Not at all.  I feel too much and this is my outlet for the pain and the sadness.  Words are my weapons, not guns or knives or anything else.  I know how to use words and have the knowledge to weave around arguments.  I should be a lawyer.  I would not physically harm another person because I would feel the pain from 10 others around me.

I want the world to be a better place, but I cannot take on the world.  I can only focus on the injustice that is done to people like me.  I am in no way close to what a terrorist is.  I tried to move on from the intentional torture that my company put me through, but couldn't let go of the anger.  I am fighting a battle that I didn't even start.

Those boys were killed in a conflict that started long before any of us were born.  They shouldn't have had to pay the price for this.  Violence of this kind doesn't further a cause, it is just tragic and the result of ignorance.  Pain is begetting pain.  I hope that one day it will stop.  People have been hoping that for thousands of years, but it hasn't happened.  They are just in a long line of casualties in a conflict that most people don't even remember why it started.

The world will probably never make sense.  Bad things happen all the time whether they are deserved or not.  My leaving the company was not a bad thing.  Working there changed my life and put me back on the right direction.  I am compassionate in a world of senselessness.  I am kind where unkindness and blindness are the norm.  I am brave where cowardice is expected.  While the world is being undone by arbitrariness, I will try my hardest to be the change that I want to see.


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