I'd Give Up Forever

I'm a historian essentially.  I know that there are always cycles and lessons to be learned from the past.  I always look back and see what can be learned because human nature has not really changed in 500 hundred years.  I'm a historian, we don't move on.

I would give up forever to just hold his hand.  I don't need a lover, I just need a really good friend to just talk to everyday.  Most of my day consists of working on myself and talking to Geof and Sarah because I don't have very many people to talk to about everything like I did with him.  I wish I knew what was going on with him aside from his paranoia getting the better of him.

As for Pile of Good Things, I'm still in the research phase.  I think I rushed things a bit in terms of fundraising because I don't really have any programs set up yet.  I have a lot of research and classes left to do before I even recruit a board of directors.  I'm glad that I did the crowd funding and I can always come up with more campaigns through them.

I'd give up the world for a kind word from him or a word of encouragement like he used to.  I'm doing a lot better, but I still have a lot of self-doubt when it comes to PoGT.  I know that I have to help in some way because employers are putting their employees mental health at risk and it's unnecessary.  There are ways to cut costs without harming employees.  I just have to come up with ways to show it.  I also want to teach employers about mental illness so that their employees can get help before it gets worse.  I just need someone to tell me that I don't suck.  Someone that completely matters to me.  Worst of all, is that I fear I will never trust anyone that much again.

Time will tell, but I've been hurt.  True real love lasts forever and it doesn't matter who it is to.  I just want this:


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