Weight Problems

Like a lot of people around the world, I have a problem with my weight.  I am significantly overweight at 235 pounds.  Just seeing that number makes me want to vomit.  I know that depression and my thyroid have a lot to do with my weight gain, but that doesn't make me any less upset.

The thing with me is that once I try to get into an exercise routine, my thyroid has issues and I lose all energy which means that I don't work out and gain weight like crazy.  I also like food.  I know that a lot of it is about portion control, but I think I have a thing for junk food.  It's cheap and delicious.  This combination has caused me to blow up like a balloon.

I've had a nutritionist before, and I know that I eat a lot of sugar.  My other problem is soda.  I gained a lot of weight because I've been drinking regular soda.  I'm trying to cut that down on by switching to lemonade and juice since I drink them slower.  I'm really working on trying to replace sugar with fruit, but I haven't brought myself to do it.  Mostly cause I don't like a lot of fruit.

I also know that my weight is fueling part of my depression, my facial hair and my insulin resistance.  I'm not going to lose weight to be able to fit into a size 2 because that won't happen.  I am going to try to get healthy, which is something that I haven't been in quite a long time.  I also hope to get off some of the medications, which will aid in my cutting of expenses.  Health and wellness will be the goal for this year.

My body and I have not lived in harmony for quite some time because of the thyroid disorder and the mental issues, but I want to be better.  I know that crash dieting or special dieting will not work.  I just have to be sensible like I was in England where I ate better and walked everywhere.  Maybe I should be living in a city.  It's a lot easier when there are sidewalks.  Maybe I'll have one day a month where I can eat what I want and that's it.

I know that getting healthy takes time and this is where I will learn patience.  He told me once that patience wasn't a virtue, but a learned skill.  Are certain people more disposed to being patient?  Yes and I'm not one of them.  I will be one of those people that has to learn it and work at it just like losing weight and getting healthy.

Destruction is easy.  Healing is hard.


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