Letting It Get To You


That's how you know how you're alive.  I let things get to me because sometimes being called a complete incompetent by a customer is a hurtful.  Yes, I did cry in my car a bit at lunch.  I can also say I know what happens to people when they don't take their psychiatric medication.  That's one of the hardest parts of my role as a mental health advocate, is watching someone's disability get the better of them.  That might be why I let this get to me.

I know that it's hard not to take things personally when I'm in the middle of a court case, which was solely based on personal attacks against me.  I was yelled at by at least 10 customers this morning.  I guess it was bad mood Wednesday, but there is really no excuse to be rude to someone that is trying to help yo fix a mistake.  I mean this customer held my register hostage and wouldn't move until the problem was fixed.   Then she didn't end up taking the medication anyway.  I really do need to keep my cool better when trying to calm down someone who is not sane.

The worst part is that I really don't have anyone to talk to when I get home from work.  Everyone I care about either lives in a different country, is an educator or works retail.  Being an adult is getting to me.  I'm not quite sure what joy there is in being an adult because all the things that are now legal for an adult, I don't care much for.  Sure I can drink scotch legally and wine, but that's not the best thing in the world.  I feel like part of me is missing.

I do enjoy my job, which is why I didn't quit on the spot.  It was just an awful day.  On days like this I miss him.  I miss my Rose, my companion.  Yes, he is an idiot, but for a short time I wasn't lonely.  That was worth the world.  This is my day of letting things get to me.


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