S
Setbacks are entirely possible while recovering. This was a bad one. When it rains it pours is the cliche and time has a way of fucking one over.I was finally getting to the point of stability. I was working on getting better through medication, the wellness plan and therapy. I was starting to overcome the incident and was hoping to eventually repair the damage that it caused to a relationship that I valued, but that is not to be. I got a message from him today that he was deleting everyone from work because his boss was surfing Facebook. He has his own issues and this is just paranoia, which is a psychotic symptom. He's not in his right mind and yet I have to be the one to suffer more. I couldn't even go back to work after that. I just laid on the floor and cried.
I'm devastated. I know that people need to feel safe, but that betrayal was so much worse than mine. Was everything he said to me a lie? Is caring even worth it? I feel like I will never be ab le to open up again. Why did he even bother staying only to leave two months later? Leave when I'm finally getting better?
It feels like I always get kicked back down. I feel like this is a horrible set back because it makes me feel like I was stupid to hope and be optimistic about healing a relationship.
My therapist said not to take it personally as he has his own issues. That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt any less or that my heart isn't broken. I just have more questions than answers.
I am still doing what I have to do, but I just feel like I'm a mess right now.
S
