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While my anxiety level is severe and my depression level is moderate, I decided to write on what I've learned so far because it is a lot and I need to process it in some way. I do that by writing.I have learned that people can be very supportive if you are honest and are still compassionate. After the incident I hated everyone. I hated my co-workers for butting into my life. I hated him for withdrawing. I hated everyone. I went to therapy and worked out my anger and then decided to write this blog. My friends stuck by me, but by writing this I got an overwhelming response from people I never thought would read it. It's heartwarming and restored my faith that people make mistakes but they aren't completely good or evil. I have forgiven my co-workers, but he is a different story.
I learned the difference between men and women. They think differently and act differently. Men don't really apologize. They show their care and move on from there. He is still talking and it's a bit confusing, but it's still a gray area. It really is up and down right now, but s I'm taking care of myself, maybe relationships can heal. I think we need to heal apart for now.
Getting better is exhausting work. It's completely retraining your brain to think differently and be different. Change is a long hard fight, but I am still working on it. I just tend to be sleeping a lot more. We must celebrate the breakthroughs and the next one is eating normally.
I have learned to ask for help. It got to a point where it was pretty bad, but staying silent will not fix the problem. I wrote a letter to my supervisor to ask for an extra break in the mornings as mornings are very difficult for me. I am just waiting for my APRN to fill out the paperwork so that I can have this break.
I have also kind of learned patience and that recovery doesn't happen overnight. Though I still want to rush things and for things to get better in a fortnight, I know that it won't. I just have to keep on with the wellness plan, exercise, therapy and medication. I also need to keep being social and seeing my friends.
That's what I've learned so far and I hope that I will continue learning and getting better. I hope that you, dear readers, will stay with me and continue rooting for me.
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