S
I have finished moving everything out of the house and now my apartment looks like a bomb hit it. I think I have 6 lamps. I think that may be a bit too many. There is one that I will be getting rid of. I look at everything I have and I get sad. It's just too much stuff.I used to have someone to talk to all the time, now, I'm back inside my own head. I'm trying to write more in my journal and on here. I am also trying to explore my new town. I had Ming Garden Chinese take out today. I had curry chicken, which turns out to be my favorite because this is the only one I've tried that doesn't have mushrooms. It's also quite close... about a 10 minute walk.
I still feel very different from everyone else, which is something that I've been struggling with forever. I don't know if it's my intelligence or my ESP or something else, but I am different. Maybe I am just a time lord who is stuck.
I think I will be less stressed when I start to settle in a bit more. All the things for a tag sale are going to be staying in a car because we don't have room to store them in an apartment. I also need a bookshelf. Anything that looks like it belongs in Hampton Court Palace would work for me. I want to pretend to have a palace even though I can't afford it.
I swear my mom has a ton more stuff than I do. There are just piles everywhere. I'm hoping to at least have my closet done tomorrow. It would be nice to finish something in this crazy place. I feel like it's a hotel and not the apartment I rent. I still worry about how I'm going to pay for it. I will probably need to get a little part time job where I only work 15 hours or less a week. Maybe I'll tutor.
I miss having someone to talk to about my life. I know that most of my life is boring, but it was nice having someone that cared. I liked caring about someone too. Maybe I'm meant to be lonely, so that I can care more. Compassion is a gift, but at times, it's isolating because no one can give as much as me.
S
