Witnessing Devastation

I saw something this week, which I never want to see again, yet I know that it happens all over the world everyday.  I saw how a suicide effects the living.  While the person is not dead, just in a medically induced coma, I saw the confusion, panic and despair on my friend's face.  I know that it happens, but for me, I spring into action and try to remain emotionless because I know the answer to that terrible question, "Why?"

In that moment, that person was thinking that the world, her family and her friends would be so much better off without her.  This is not true, but in the moment, no one can convince them otherwise.  It's a distorted belief, which is a symptom of depression.  The people that go on without you are never the same, especially children.  There is no way to make this conviction of being gone will make things better make sense to anyone who has not been there.  The thing is that life will and can get better.

When my friend found out, we were at work and I tried my best to keep things calm and do what we had to do.  It does not do well for me to get teary eyed even though I empathized greatly.  It may make me seem inhuman, but during a crisis it doesn't do well for everyone to fall apart.  My job is to carry on because I've been there and now I've seen the devastation that suicide can leave in its wake.

If this person survives, and my hope is that they do, they will need considerable aftercare.  Not just psychological, but physical as well.  I hope that there is no permanent brain damage or damage to vital organs because surviving something like that may not have been the best option after all.  I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying it as factually as I can.  Facts are not always tactful.

A friend said that I needed to witness that so that I could see what it was like from the other side of where I was.  To see how a symptom of a serious illness can affect others.  I never want to see that again.  Suicide is completely preventable.  You are not replaceable nor can any amount of money replace you.  There are places you can go to if you are in crisis.  1-800-Suicide is a free hotline to talk to someone if you are in a crisis.

You don't want to put people you love in that situation.  While it seems selfish, to the one who tries to die, it is an incorrectly perceived altruistic act.  There is always hope and always help.  We just all have to find it.


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