S
When I look at Facebook and see everyone's posts about engagements/marriages/children, I sometimes think that there is something wrong with me. It would be nice to have a husband or partner, but I don't think that is going to happen and children are also highly unlikely. It's not because of my mental illness either.Plenty of people with mental illnesses have spouses and children, but I don't think I need them to be complete. It is probably a wonderful thing to feel loved, but it's not something I am actively seeking because I don't think I could love anyone more than Freddie. If I find someone awesome, if not, it won't ruin my life.
As for children, I find the sonogram pictures that get posted creepy. I don't need to see your tiny human, who looks more like a sea monkey before it's born. I know that you are excited and nervous to become a parent, but the whole world does not need to see a sonogram because they ALL look the same.
I don't think I'd be a good parent. Being empathic and not having patience, is a bad combination in raising a child. Kids purposely do things to test you. Since my depression's main system is irritation, I don't think it would be good for a child. Also because of my thyroid condition, having a child of my own is not going to be the easiest thing. Not impossible, but not easy.
I also feel like the normal thing to do is get married, buy a house, have a child, work and maybe have enough for retirement. I've never been normal. I want to help make this world a better place because right now it's kind of awful. I would not want to bring someone new into this hellhole no matter how much I loved them or wanted them. All of this is because I don't want anyone to suffer that way that I do, yet I know millions of people around the world do.
I just don't feel compelled to want the things that others want. Not that I am not happy for my friends, but marriage and children do not seem to be in the cards for me.
S
